Wild & Witty Copywriting
Entertain. Engage. Egg your competition.
(I heard they love eggs, anyway.)
Brands I’ve worked with include:
Are you busy perusing the internet for a copywriter?
Yes? Great. You found one.
(No? Not sure how you ended up here, bud, but I’m glad you made it. Welcome to the party.)
In your aforementioned perusal, have you noticed that all copywriters, well, they… kinda sound… the same?
Yes? I know I hear it, too. Or I read it, too, I guess.
And no offense to those copywriters! They do a damn good job, most of them, probably.
But, in the end, you haven’t click clacked on their shiny “Book Your Free Consultation Now” buttons because something wasn’t smelling right. (Jenna brought tuna for lunch again, didn’t she. Yugh.)
Fact of the matter is, those aforementioned copywriters, bless their hearts, well, they sound… a little bit… boring.
So, you’re busy looking for a not-boring copywriter.
In the meantime you’ve hired your nephew Derek to try to write your blogs and sales pages and everything else you need. But he’s only using ChatGPT to spit out punny garbage so why are you paying him again?
Blood is thicker than water. But damn.
Hate to break it to you, but I’m not your nephew Derek. As it turns out, I’m not one of them other copywriters, either.
My name’s Simona. I’m an unapologetic, irreverent, wild, witty copywriter.
I can also be fancy and technical. A chameleon quality.
Either way, I’m here to make you stand out, which gets you business. And I do that by making my writing sound like you.
Ready to get started? Check out my offers below. I’ll call Derek and tell him the news.
My Offers, My Darlings
Website Copy
Like the stuff you’re reading right now. Bulk up your pages, get picked up by Google, get more eyeballs on your business.
Starting at $350 for 1,000 words-ish.
Landing Pages
A neat lil’ page that makes readers froth at the mouth and buy your stuff. Big cha-ching items need more words, lil’ cha-ching items need just a couple.
My pricing varies accordingly.
Blogs
Blogaroos with juicy keywords and juicier information. Mmm, the smell of well-researched writing in the morning. Your clients love it.
Starting at $250 for 1,000 words-ish.
Email Sequences
A strategic sequence of emails with words straight from your brain to my writing to your client’s inbox and then back into money in your pocket.
Starting at $75/email but we’ll need a couple to get the job done.
Social Media Ads
You know ‘em, you hate ‘em, but damn, do you love to click on ‘em. Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn – you name it, I write it, your client clicks on it.
Starting at $50/ad but you’ll probably want a couple.
Add Ons & Other
Anything else tickle your fancy? Drop me a whistle, and I’ll add it to my list.
Plus I’m into BDSM. Bundle Deals SEO Monthly retainers, obviously.
Clients love me (and I can prove it)
Write it grab it click it want it
Write it grab it click it want it
Fun and witty copywriting makes your ideal clients relate to you, like you, and buy from you.
It’s called building rapport with a loving client base, sweetie. I’m here to hook you up.
You nearly got me.
But why do I need a copywriter, anyway?
You don’t.
You’ve got Stacy, who studied English in college, and there’s a literal online robot that can pump out words faster than you can think of them.
So if you’re on the fence, get Stacy to team up with the robot and see what kind of copy they come up with. (Just don’t tell Derek.) See how that works for a couple months. Then come back when you’re ready.
Oh wow hey a couple months went by real quick. Stacy’s tired and needs to get her actual job done, and you haven’t noticed an increase in clicks, traffic, sales, money, or robot intelligence.
Don’t worry, I’m still here. And I’ve only gotten better at my job (making you money).
When you’re ready to see that profit for yourself, contact me and invest in the power of really good words, man. You’ll be glad you did.
Now give Stacy a vacation, then go and take a vacation yourself. I’ve got you covered.
Meet your wild, witty copywriter
Is it weird to call myself witty? I guess I already did, so let’s roll with it.
Hi, I’m Simona. I write for a living and I live for rock climbing. I’ve got a bit of an oddball life and a rotation of mottos such as:
There are no rules in this silly little life
Be like fire and rest while changing
I should have changed my socks this morning.
Due to this oddball affliction, I have scattered interests and have never gotten around to using my masters degree in public policy. Instead, I love writing copy about lots of things, including:
The great outdoors
Sustainability
Sexual health
International living/travel
Coaching and consulting
The list goes on. I love research, I love learning new things, I love sharing my newfound knowledge in a fun, accessible way so anyone anywhere can learn, too.
When it comes to new topics, new projects, new things to write, I say: when the wind blows, that’s where I goes. (That’s a good one– I’m adding it to my list of mottos now.) If you’re interested in me putting my brain on your copy, keep reading and contact me below.
Gimme gimme quirky witty
Phew, you’ve made it this far. Congrats! Make sure to give yourself a treat.
If you’ve liked what you’ve read so far, then we will be friends. And if you’re interested in using my writing, fill out my quick and easy contact form.
The form only takes a minute or two and is painless, I swear. I’ll follow up within 48 hours, because time is precious, my darlings! I’ll shoot out a host of questions to diagnose your copywriting needs, we’ll go over the nitty gritty, and make sure we’re a good fit.
If the stars are aligned (which usually they are, depending on how you draw the line), then we’ll have a formal call to dig into them deets. Then I’m off writing.
I’m good on deadlines, and I include one round of edits to make sure we get your words sounding right.
Psyched? Me, too. Aw heck yeah. Let’s do this.
Ready to get you some of that not-boring copy?
Contact me quick then go eat a snick.